A Pertinent concern right now in America is how poisonous having kids has become to continuance of the family structure and development of children. Growing up, I had a model relationship, my grandparents. My grandparents had been married since the early 1950s and really showed us what love was all about. I was able to see what soul mates were like, I saw how they cared for one another, would not go anywhere without one another, and how they were so respected and revered not only in our family, but they are role models in their church and community. They provide inspiration for young people today. If you were born before the year 2000, you probably have grandparents that were born in the 1950s or before. This is great, many of our grandparents during this era didn’t divorce as frequently as we do today, and our grandparents are the rock of the family. One of the things we must remember though, is although our family structure was more in-tact than today, education wasn’t as essential to live a comfortable life. Speaking from my own family structure, education was not a huge priority. It wasn’t as if my grandparents really didn’t want to go, but most likely their parents(In Arkansas) never stressed it because it was segregated, discriminated, and it wasn’t required because of the prevalence of blue-collar jobs. My grandparents not really stressing education, didn’t really parlay that to their children. So my aunts, uncles, and fathers weren’t really concerned about education. As my grandparents children developed, my dad was the only one to go to college, which was an independent venture. Meanwhile, my aunts, were able to obtain solid jobs and live a comfortable lifestyle. Although they had children early, everything was fine.
But as my Aunt’s children grew up in the 80s, we were entering the emergence of Hip-hop, infidelity and sexuality became more romanticized and public as time went on, and education was more of a priority to live a decent lifestyle. If we fast forward the clock to 2012, we must reverse the roles of how we approach life. My generation and future generations will not be able to live like my grandparents and aunts did. Why? A few reasons:
1. Economic Globalization – moves and outsources traditional blue and white collar jobs overseas.
2. A bachelor degree is essential to get a decent job for most people.
3. Music, TV Movies, has perpetuated more erotic images publicly accessible to children, so we live in a day where lust is precipitating and love is seemingly evaporating.
4. Social Networking and the internet wasn’t there for my grandparents and aunts during their development. Social Networking and internet allow pornographic images become accessible for people at any time.
5. The last and most important reasons, we do not have our traditional family structure.
What is starting to happen is, Kids are essentially having kids without a career foundation. Remember back in the day, working for the post office was fine and you could have a decent living. Gas prices weren’t as high, food wasn’t as expensive and the cost of living was really inexpensive. But nowadays, its the complete opposite, in order to raise a child in an effective manner, its better to have a college education and some sort of career making >30,000.
When reflecting on my own family is that many of my cousins are having kids with:
A. Guys that they are infatuated with
B. Aren’t career sound
C. without a college education, their lifestyle is: Work,club,eat,sleep, and really the only excitement that comes is when they find a man. The problem with this is that many people tend to attract people of their similar economic status.
D. Most of the time, the relationship isn’t grounded on friendship, and guys leave, or they separate, and now mom is left by themselves with children.
E. Children are taken care of by grandparents.
The problem with this?
A. Generationally speaking with successful marriage rates decreasing, we are starting to have less and less models to draw upon in our community to show us what a relationship is like, how we should go about screening a potential mate, and chivalry/courtship is deteriorating because of the constant media and peer messages we receive.
B. Singleness is increasing because, many successful men and women aren’t getting married because its hard to find equally yoked individuals.
C. Kids are having kids at young ages, but the hugest problem with this is that, since our parents didn’t value education, many of us don’t value education, so many of us don’t know how to raise our children to value education. Especially for African America, Part of the Inferiority complex that Tom Burrell mentions in his book in Brainwashed is that we expect our children to fail, we actually are happy with a D-. This is unacceptable. And in a country where Bachelor degrees are losing effectiveness, it is pertinent that we start stressing the importance of education.
D. When mom and dad are working, kids are home a lot unattended to. Many kids get Facebook and fall into the social networking hole. Where kids are fed media messages, that really influence their behavior.
What ultimately happens?
It creates a cycle, not only does it create a cycle of family struggle, but we also are killing family trees and regressing educationally.
So what must we do.
We must educate one another about the importance of education
We must strive to become the change we want to see. We must be the models in our lives and relationships. When we do this, we can have our relationships serve as a testimony.
When we do this, we can improve the status of individuals in the country.